Fangala the Flying Feline

Yay, running in the rain! Fun, isn't it? Anyway, the fist thing that struck me was that you have to stop saying "was." (I know this because it's one of ...

I really like this. Don't worry about the flow; it sounds better with the rhyme slightly askew. My only problem is the last verse. I don't know--it just sounds sort ...

Write every detail about every character, no matter how irrelevant they seem. Know your characters like you know yourself. It sounds like you have a character-driven story going on, so ...

This is definitely intriguing; it makes me want to know why Lyle hates mankind so much. Also, I like the way you use short paragraphs and sparse description. It keeps ...

Aw, too bad. I LIKE burnt toast!

Suddenly my nostrils fill with a most alarming smell like something cooking, something dead. I realize I've burnt the bread. Now a disk of lava rock it delivers a tasteless ...

Do NOT make this longer! I love it the way it is. It left me with a beautifully-creepy, almost giddy feeling. The tone is perfect; the voice alone conjures the ...

Just like people are saying, this is a good working outline, but you don't need any of it. Instead of straight-out telling the reader you're not popular, give juicy, concrete ...

each paragraph is told by a different person Glitter Fallen angel, Angelo back on your feet in the blink of the moon there's a Pandora in your eyes there are ...

KABOOM! That hit me like a stampeding herd chickens! (?) Anyway, talk about mega-moral going on. It doesn't matter that the imagery isn't bursting with colorful metaphors; in fact, it's ...

this is told from the point of view of a pyromaniac lady-in-waiting. Um...yeah...PLEASE read and review! Making love to torches To lick their liquid residue To melt myself in orbs ...

Hello and meow, everybody. Well, I decided to post here because lots of people have asked about my name. Basically, another cat strapped a kite to my back, put me ...

Strangely beautiful. Simple, yet packs a punch. Full of sharp imagery and emotion. I don't have any complaints about this poem. Keep up the good work!

This poem has real potential! You've got some good phrases in there; you just need to narrow it down and get rid of empty rhymes. I would suggest making the ...

This is for all those people out there who are FED UP with cliche fantasy. Unrealistically good-looking knights with magic swords, bad guys with armies of the undead, tomboy princesses, ...